Bullying

There are stories of bullying every time you turn around lately.  I know there has always been bullying, but lately it seems as though it's gotten much worse, or perhaps we are just becoming more aware of it.

 

Just the word makes my stomach twist in knots.

There is talk about bullying in schools, at home, on the streets and even in the blogosphere.  That last one really shocks me.  I've never had an encounter with a bully related to blogging, but I really am surprised that in this amazing online community that anyone would do such a thing.  Everyone I have 'met' while blogging is nothing short of amazing, being that we all support one another and give the encouragement that's needed when something is wrong.  Needless to say, there are bullies EVERYWHERE.

In my younger days I was definitely not the nicest person in school.  I picked on people, some for no reason at all.  I'm not sure why I did it, I know it didn't make me feel any better about myself and it sure as hell didn't make me cool.  Perhaps it distracted me from my chubby, awkward girl with glasses and braces phase that lasted the whole 5 years?  I had plenty of friends and it wasn't as though they were all bullies, so there was no pressure to pick on people. 

Whatever the reason, I was a mean girl.

I'm not going to touch on the things I said or did, I see people that I wasn't very nice to all the time and it's a constant reminder of who I once was.  The guilt and shame is something that I will have to live with forever, and I deserve this on my mind.  However, I know for a fact that I am no longer that person and unfortunately it took something drastic to change my point of view.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I am perfect now, nor will I ever be.  I do catch myself judging people or thinking mean things, but I stop myself and the point is I would never intentionally hurt anyone ever.  I try to stop myself from judging someone on the street, because really, I have no clue what kind of life he/she is living.

 'If you knew me yesterday, please do not think that I am the same person that you are meeting today.  I have experienced more of life, I have encountered new depths in those I love and I have suffered and prayed.  I am different.'

Last Friday a young boy from the Ottawa area took his own life due to several reasons and one of those reasons being that he was bullied.  This young man was an active part in the community with his father, trying to help others, but he was also gay and preferred skating over playing hockey and for this, he was mocked and tormented.  Other kids thought that they should terrorize this boy for something that he enjoyed and for who he was.  And their pleasure really was his pain.  This teenage took his own life, because he couldn't stand the pain, the suffering, the teasing.  He couldn't 'wait 3 years for things to get better', the words hurt that bad.  I can't even imagine a life so terrible that not living would be a better option.  It's devastating that this poor boy who had a loving, supportive family wasn't able to make it through those tough teenage years.  I pray for his family and friends and even more so, for those who tormented him.  We can only hope that this tragedy is an eye opener to each and everyone of them and that it helps them become better people.

When googling images for bullying I came across this one:

This picture absolutely makes my heart ache.

I sit here looking at this picture of this poor, innocent child and my eyes fill with tears and my head fills with worry.

Worry for my own child who is now going to school and as we are all aware, kids are mean.  All parents are partial to their own children, obviously, but Cole really is a sweet, innocent, caring and sensitive little guy who just loves to smile and laugh.  He isn't a bad kid by any means, sometimes a little foolish, but never mean or rough, at least not that I see.

BUT, that is wear my concern comes in.  I fear that he is too sweet and that one mean word from another child is going to ruin his innocence and break his heart.  He is an only child and hasn't had to yet 'handle his own' physically, (not that I would encourage him to anyways!) when he is angry he yells 'no thank you' at the top of his lungs to voice his displeasure.

I also fear that perhaps there is a side to Cole that I haven't had the opportunity to see when he is at school/daycare.  Is he mean?  Is he bossy?  I've only received positive feedback about how funny and sweet Cole is, so I pray that I am worrying for no reason.

Finally, I fear for what Cole may or may not do if he sees someone being bullied.  Will he do the right thing and stick up for this child?  Will he tell someone?  Or will he turn his head and pretend that he saw nothing to avoid confrontation?

I am constantly trying to remind Cole that everyone is different to help prepare him for situations that may cause him to snicker at a child for something he might think is funny.  One night at supper he told us that a little boy from school talked funny.  When we asked what he meant, he said that he talked differently.  We tried to explain to him that this is not something he should laugh at or point out to the other child, as it might hurt his feelings and that everyone is different in their own way, but I'm not 100% sure he understood it.  Granted he isn't even 4 years old so it may take some time for him to understand what we mean.

How do you/will you prepare your children for situations that might arise?