April 7, 2011
Surgery
As mentioned in this post, back in December when we lost Lauryn, our family was going through another hardship. Today we are away with my Father who is undergoing major surgery. I'll be back sometime soon with more details, but until then please send prayers and positive vibes our way.
April 5, 2011
Top 2 Tuesday - Top 2 Songs on Your iPod
Today is Tuesday which means Top 2 Tuesday over at Taylor's and this week is the Top 2 Songs on your Ipod. This one is so easy, but so hard at the same time as I love every single song on Britney's newest album. I'm going to shy away from Miss Britney just this once (don't hate...I still love you Brit!) because I just can't get enough of these two songs...they make me want to tear up the rug and remind me of our fabulous girls weekend from two weeks ago.
1. Rihanna - S&M...this song is seriously addictive and has such a good beat.
2. JLo ft. Pitbull - On the Floor...amazing!!!
What top two songs are on your iPod/music list? Head on over to Taylor's and link up.
March 27, 2011
Play List
Alright ladies, I have a favor to ask of you. As mentioned previously, I am in the midst of learning to run and while I am still really enjoying it, I need your help. I have been trying to update my iPod with songs that might help keep me motivated. That being said, what songs/artists/music helps keep you going when you are working out?
March 25, 2011
Girls Weekend
I am beyond excited for this weekend as I am heading away with 8 other friends for a girls weekend to this beautiful place.
There will be tons of fun, loads of laughs, many crazy stories and pictures to share upon our return.
Hope your weekend is fantastic.
There will be tons of fun, loads of laughs, many crazy stories and pictures to share upon our return.
Hope your weekend is fantastic.
March 23, 2011
Express Spring Swimwear
This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Express for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.
If you are anything like me, bathing suit season is front and center on your mind. Between working out and eating well, I have been trying my best to get in shape so that I can wear a bikini this year and that has had me browsing online to find the perfect suit.
Express has a great selection of women's swimwear and I am crushing on this one:
I plan to spend a lot of time in the water with my boys this Summer and a new bikini is just what I need for the beautiful days that are quickly approaching.
Express has a great selection of bikinis, two piece swimwear and they even have swim shorts for men in case you are looking for something stylish for your man. At Express you can shop bright solids, on-trend graphic prints, the essential reversible style, nautical-inspired striped and sleek metallic styles. Some designer details include flirty ruffles, sexy self-tie sides, glam beaded embellishments, polished metal hardware and removable padding in tops.
Don't forget to check out their Spring essentials accessories, including sandals, tote bags, sunglasses and hats for him and for her.
Also, if you sign up for Express e-mail you will have a chance to win one of ten $200 Express Gift Cards. Hurry though, the sweepstakes ends 4.21.10 at 11:59pm, EST (check out the sweepstakes rules for more information).
March 17, 2011
Talented
I grew up in a really small town.
A really small town.
A town of 2000 people.
My high school graduating class consisted of 60 students (give or take a few?).
One of those students was Julie Corrigan.
In fact, Julie and I went to school together from the age of 4 until we graduated from high school. I remember going to Julie's and playing Barbies together and listening to Natalie Cole's LOVE
A really small town.
A town of 2000 people.
My high school graduating class consisted of 60 students (give or take a few?).
One of those students was Julie Corrigan.
In fact, Julie and I went to school together from the age of 4 until we graduated from high school. I remember going to Julie's and playing Barbies together and listening to Natalie Cole's LOVE
and Julie would sing along like she did to most songs.
Moving on to high school...if you knew Julie chances were that you heard her sing. She liked to hum and sing almost all the time and it was by no means a bad thing. Her voice has always been amazing and her personality matches it perfectly, she is and always was one of the kindest people.
To this day Julie still sings. In fact she has several songs available on iTunes and even had one of her own songs played on our local radio station Hot 89.9.
Julie also had a YouTube page and all of her songs and covers are there for you to check out. Some of my favorites...
Been Through The Fall
Born This Way
Just The Way You Are
Take A Bow
Julie is such an amazingly talented person and I am so proud of her for following her dreams. Get going and check her out, you'll see just how lovely she is.
March 15, 2011
Top Two Tuesday - Two Random Facts About You
It's been a while since I've linked up with Taylor's Top 2 Tuesday and today's topic is two random facts about you.
1. I can not stomach the feel of loose cotton.
Cotton balls make me almost vomit and I am actually gagging as I type this. If there is cotton in a pill bottle I can't take it out or if I have blood work done and they put a little bit of cotton under the tape my stomach turns until I take it off.
2. I don't drink pop but I crave Pepsi and Ginger Ale.
I haven't really been a pop drinker since I was 16 or so. However, for some reason I actually crave Pepsi (either fountain or directly from the can) and Ginger Ale (with crushed ice) randomly.
What are two random facts about you? Head on over to Taylor's and link up to play along.
Update & Bachelor Finale
Just wanted to post an update to keep myself accountable. The last time I weighed in (March 3rd) I was down 2.5lbs (for a total of 4lbs, 7.5 from goal) and since then I have been pretty good at continuing with working out and eating well, with the exception for the first Saturday night when I had a few too many drinks. Oops...
I have been going to kettlebells 1 night a week and running 3-4 times a week and the cardio has been a huge help with losing the weight, while the kettlebells has helped me shed some inches. I am so happy to report that I am down a size in shirts and pants. I can't believe that after only losing 4lbs that it would make such a difference in my clothing, but apparently inches are greater than pounds.
Last Wednesday I bought Jillian Michaels 6 week six-pack DVD and I have done it 4 times so far. I definitely think it will be a good workout if I am consistent with it (which I will try to be 4 days a week). As usual, Jillian combines cardio with abs and strength in this video and the best part - it's only 30 minutes long. It makes it so much easier to do when you think that all it takes is 30 minutes. If I can ever get my butt out of bed for a morning run and then do this at night, I'd be set! Someday, someday...
I have been going to kettlebells 1 night a week and running 3-4 times a week and the cardio has been a huge help with losing the weight, while the kettlebells has helped me shed some inches. I am so happy to report that I am down a size in shirts and pants. I can't believe that after only losing 4lbs that it would make such a difference in my clothing, but apparently inches are greater than pounds.
Last Wednesday I bought Jillian Michaels 6 week six-pack DVD and I have done it 4 times so far. I definitely think it will be a good workout if I am consistent with it (which I will try to be 4 days a week). As usual, Jillian combines cardio with abs and strength in this video and the best part - it's only 30 minutes long. It makes it so much easier to do when you think that all it takes is 30 minutes. If I can ever get my butt out of bed for a morning run and then do this at night, I'd be set! Someday, someday...
I can already feel a difference in my abs (they are hurting!) and I am noticing a change in my body shape even though I've only done it 4 times!!! I can't wait to see what the end result will be. I'll definitely keep you posted on how it goes.
Did you watch tonight's finale of The Bachelor? I am so pleased that Brad chose Emily to be his wife, she seems like such a kind soul and they truly do seem to be in love. I did like Chantal as well, but you could see just how crazy Brad was about Emily throughout the entire season. Here's hoping that Brad and Emily work out and that Chantal will be the next bachelorette.
March 14, 2011
Bob Harper DVD
I recently won a giveaway over at Marissa's blog and I couldn't be happier! She was giving away a copy of Bob Harper's Ultimate Cardio Video and yours truly won. I am so excited to get the video so that I can add it to my list of workouts Thanks so much Marissa! If you don't know who Marissa is, you best be checking out her blog. She is a wonderful blogger who shares delicious recipes and wonderful workout tips all the time. Marissa also has an amazing weight loss story that she shares on her blog, along with a Wednesday Workout Blog Hop, so what are you waiting for, get going and tell her I sent you.
March 11, 2011
Weekend Plans
Yes, I am a terrible blogger with little to no consistency...I'm a busy woman, what else can I say?
We've been pretty busy over the past two weeks and thankfully this weekend is looking pretty quiet and we are planning on spending it at home, working on our house. I had a hair appointment tonight with the lovely Kristen and then we went for supper at The Works and oh.my.goodness. AMAZING!!!! I ordered the Red House which was a burger topped with roasted red peppers, avocado, beechhouse sauce & havarti cheese and it was delicious! Mmmmm...
For tomorrow, our first order of business is to hit up Home Depot on Saturday morning to get some tile ideas for our bathroom and our kitchen back splash and to buy some paint for our bedroom. I am thinking of doing our bedroom in Pelican Bay...
The kitchen, dining room and living room is very open concept and we have rounded corners which makes it difficult as to where to change colors. We I have decided on the colors below for the living room/dining room/kitchen:
The burnished clay seems to have a pink tinge to it in the picture above, but it's more of a grey tone. I got inspiration from a color card I found a while back at the store and I love it. We may or may not paint anything the darkest grape, however, it will be used as our accent color for decor. We also have big plans for our cupboards, table and hutch. We will be refinishing them all a darker color.
That is our excitement for the weekend and I can't wait! I'll be sure to take some before, during and after pictures to show our progress.
What are your plans this weekend?
We've been pretty busy over the past two weeks and thankfully this weekend is looking pretty quiet and we are planning on spending it at home, working on our house. I had a hair appointment tonight with the lovely Kristen and then we went for supper at The Works and oh.my.goodness. AMAZING!!!! I ordered the Red House which was a burger topped with roasted red peppers, avocado, beechhouse sauce & havarti cheese and it was delicious! Mmmmm...
For tomorrow, our first order of business is to hit up Home Depot on Saturday morning to get some tile ideas for our bathroom and our kitchen back splash and to buy some paint for our bedroom. I am thinking of doing our bedroom in Pelican Bay...
Darkest Grape
Pencil Point
Pencil PointBurnished Clay
Elephant Skin
Elephant SkinThe burnished clay seems to have a pink tinge to it in the picture above, but it's more of a grey tone. I got inspiration from a color card I found a while back at the store and I love it. We may or may not paint anything the darkest grape, however, it will be used as our accent color for decor. We also have big plans for our cupboards, table and hutch. We will be refinishing them all a darker color.
That is our excitement for the weekend and I can't wait! I'll be sure to take some before, during and after pictures to show our progress.
What are your plans this weekend?
February 27, 2011
Play Date
My little boy is all grown up!
Cole has had play dates with family friends and cousins, but today was his first time going to a friend's house to play!!! His little buddy from school had asked him over to play last weekend, but we were out of town so we missed out. Luckily, I spoke to this little guy's mom and we arranged a play date for today. I dropped Cole off at 9:30 and they played until 12:30 when I went back to get him and did they have fun! I had to basically drag Cole out of their house (after 30 minutes of coxing/fighting/crying) and into the car. We made plans to have Cole's little buddy over in two weeks for a play and Cole is so excited and so am I.
I can't believe that we are already at this stage. And so it starts...
Cole has had play dates with family friends and cousins, but today was his first time going to a friend's house to play!!! His little buddy from school had asked him over to play last weekend, but we were out of town so we missed out. Luckily, I spoke to this little guy's mom and we arranged a play date for today. I dropped Cole off at 9:30 and they played until 12:30 when I went back to get him and did they have fun! I had to basically drag Cole out of their house (after 30 minutes of coxing/fighting/crying) and into the car. We made plans to have Cole's little buddy over in two weeks for a play and Cole is so excited and so am I.
I can't believe that we are already at this stage. And so it starts...
February 25, 2011
Amazing!!
Amazing it is that we are spending a quiet weekend at home. We really haven't been home a whole lot lately on weekends and as much as I absolutely love visiting with family and friends, it is soooo nice to sit on our couch knowing that we don't have to get up and work the next day and that we can lounge in pjs all day long. Although, truth be told...I kind of do that at my parents' anyways!
Tomorrow we are doing some running around town and hopefully I'll get a chance to begin my Spring cleaning. I figure I am going to start with my kitchen and hopefully get it sparkling in no time. We are also making a list of things we'd like to get done around the house from renovations to clean/sort/toss/sell. I am so excited to finally make our house our home. We've been here for 3.5 years and have yet to paint (aside from Cole's room) or do any renovations inside the house. We have talked about doing this before and we seem to talk about it and then leave it, but not this time! I am going to harass Rye until we get going and I know once we are started it will become a huge priority to both of us.
Tomorrow evening Ryan's parents will come over to watch Cole and we are heading out to supper at Al's Steakhouse (one of my favorite restaurants) and I am soooooo excited! We have a gift card and thought it was a great way to get out for a 'date night, plus Cole is absolutely thrilled to have Nana and Papa over for a movie and popcorn.
I am super excited that I can pick up my ring on the way to dinner tomorrow night. I took it in on Monday to have it cleaned and plated and I have been lost without it. Can't wait to have it back where it belongs and shining away at that!
Sunday Ryan has training with the fire department and Cole is supposed to have a play date with his best buddy from school. This has me so excited and nervous for him as this will be his first time going to a friend's house and not having Mommy with him! And it might just be THE cutest thing ever...my baby is growing up. I guess I'll go do groceries on my own, go for a run and maybe get a bit of extra cleaning in. Sounds sooooooooooo exciting I know, it's the little things that get me these days.
Have a fabulous weekend!!!
Super sad face...I would have been 30 weeks today...xo baby girl.
Tomorrow we are doing some running around town and hopefully I'll get a chance to begin my Spring cleaning. I figure I am going to start with my kitchen and hopefully get it sparkling in no time. We are also making a list of things we'd like to get done around the house from renovations to clean/sort/toss/sell. I am so excited to finally make our house our home. We've been here for 3.5 years and have yet to paint (aside from Cole's room) or do any renovations inside the house. We have talked about doing this before and we seem to talk about it and then leave it, but not this time! I am going to harass Rye until we get going and I know once we are started it will become a huge priority to both of us.
Tomorrow evening Ryan's parents will come over to watch Cole and we are heading out to supper at Al's Steakhouse (one of my favorite restaurants) and I am soooooo excited! We have a gift card and thought it was a great way to get out for a 'date night, plus Cole is absolutely thrilled to have Nana and Papa over for a movie and popcorn.
I am super excited that I can pick up my ring on the way to dinner tomorrow night. I took it in on Monday to have it cleaned and plated and I have been lost without it. Can't wait to have it back where it belongs and shining away at that!
Sunday Ryan has training with the fire department and Cole is supposed to have a play date with his best buddy from school. This has me so excited and nervous for him as this will be his first time going to a friend's house and not having Mommy with him! And it might just be THE cutest thing ever...my baby is growing up. I guess I'll go do groceries on my own, go for a run and maybe get a bit of extra cleaning in. Sounds sooooooooooo exciting I know, it's the little things that get me these days.
Have a fabulous weekend!!!
Super sad face...I would have been 30 weeks today...xo baby girl.
February 16, 2011
Belated Love Day
Love comes in all different shapes, sizes and colors...mine just happens to be about three and a half feet tall and 36 pounds of adorableness!
Happy belated love day.
February 15, 2011
Eat It. Work It. Blog It - Take 3
It's take 3 over at Amber's for Eat It. Work It. Blog It. and this week it's going to have to be short and sweet. If you aren't aware of Eat It. Work It. Blog It., click here for Amber's original post about it.
I've been following Weight Watchers since August 2009 and I was able to hit my goal weight in April 2010. I have gained back 10lbs since hitting goal as a result of getting comfortable once all of the wedding planning was over with and getting pregnant. I am determined to lose this weight once again, (plus the additional 5 pounds I wanted to lose before) therefore, Eat It. is the big one for me.
Eat It.
The past week I have been pretty on track with sticking to Weight Watchers and I this morning when I weighed myself I was down another pound. One pound doesn't sound like much, but to me it's great. It's a step in the right direction and more motivation for the week to come. I am thinking that I will go get weighed this Thursday so that I know where I stand for sure (I am only getting weighed once a month or so right now). My food choices are pretty repetitive these days as it's easier for tracking and I am enjoying what I am eating. That being said, if you have any go-to recipes for healthy, clean foods please feel free to share them. I'd absolutely love some spice in my life. :)
Work It.
Last week I ran on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday on the treadmill and Tuesday I went to Kettlebells. Friday was a rest day and the rest of the weekend was a lot of outdoor activities (pulling snow off the roof of the house, shovelling, sliding and my first outdoor jog!) which I like to include as my 'work it'. I have totally failed at getting my butt out of bed at 5 am for morning jogs, but I WILL do this beginning next Monday. I seriously need to update my iPod before I can do this and I need to get my butt to bed early (it's currently 11:45 p.m....not even kidding).
Blog It.
This week I am going to continue to Eat It. and Work It. the best I can. I am hoping to see another loss on the scale and I am hoping to continue to see a difference in my clothing. I have also been toying with the idea of buying Jillian's 6-Week-Six-Pack and then tonight I saw that Jess mentioned it too. I've heard that it's an intense work out and that might just be what I need to add to my routine.
Have you tried Jillian's 6-Week-Six-Pack?
Do you have any healthy staples in your diet?
Please, oh please, suggest some songs that would be good to work out to - I'm begging for help here!
I've been following Weight Watchers since August 2009 and I was able to hit my goal weight in April 2010. I have gained back 10lbs since hitting goal as a result of getting comfortable once all of the wedding planning was over with and getting pregnant. I am determined to lose this weight once again, (plus the additional 5 pounds I wanted to lose before) therefore, Eat It. is the big one for me.
Eat It.
The past week I have been pretty on track with sticking to Weight Watchers and I this morning when I weighed myself I was down another pound. One pound doesn't sound like much, but to me it's great. It's a step in the right direction and more motivation for the week to come. I am thinking that I will go get weighed this Thursday so that I know where I stand for sure (I am only getting weighed once a month or so right now). My food choices are pretty repetitive these days as it's easier for tracking and I am enjoying what I am eating. That being said, if you have any go-to recipes for healthy, clean foods please feel free to share them. I'd absolutely love some spice in my life. :)
Work It.
Last week I ran on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday on the treadmill and Tuesday I went to Kettlebells. Friday was a rest day and the rest of the weekend was a lot of outdoor activities (pulling snow off the roof of the house, shovelling, sliding and my first outdoor jog!) which I like to include as my 'work it'. I have totally failed at getting my butt out of bed at 5 am for morning jogs, but I WILL do this beginning next Monday. I seriously need to update my iPod before I can do this and I need to get my butt to bed early (it's currently 11:45 p.m....not even kidding).
Blog It.
This week I am going to continue to Eat It. and Work It. the best I can. I am hoping to see another loss on the scale and I am hoping to continue to see a difference in my clothing. I have also been toying with the idea of buying Jillian's 6-Week-Six-Pack and then tonight I saw that Jess mentioned it too. I've heard that it's an intense work out and that might just be what I need to add to my routine.
Have you tried Jillian's 6-Week-Six-Pack?
Do you have any healthy staples in your diet?
Please, oh please, suggest some songs that would be good to work out to - I'm begging for help here!
February 10, 2011
Winter Fun - Skating & Snowmen
Last weekend we spent Sunday afternoon at my sister Melissa's house enjoying the lovely Winter weather. It was a mild weekend here in Canada's Capital and we thought we would take advantage of a weekend with very little plans and show Cole some fun new things.
My sister and her husband have made a rink in their back yard for their hockey boys (Dante and Roman) and the boys spend quite a bit of time out there every year. They are both such great skaters and were pretty excited to show Cole the ropes. Here are some pictures of the boys on the rink:
My sister and her husband have made a rink in their back yard for their hockey boys (Dante and Roman) and the boys spend quite a bit of time out there every year. They are both such great skaters and were pretty excited to show Cole the ropes. Here are some pictures of the boys on the rink:
Not impressed with the falling
The boys taking a break (Cole is clearly having a blast as you can tell by his face...haha!)
I'm done Mom...
Cole did really well with the push bar, we just have to get him to look up when he is skating. When he thought he had enough, we bribed him from one end of the rink to the other with Smarties. :) Worked like a charm! We are going to skate this Saturday hopefully with Cole's little buddy Sawyer (I'll bring the Smarties Kait!).
Next up was building a snowman. The snow was PERFECT for building anything that day. We had a fresh blanket of snow and Cole was armed with a bag of accessories for Frosty.
Cole and Aunt Miss, love his face!
Cole and Aunt Miss hard at work accessorizing the snowmen
That was Cole's first time building a snowman ever! We also had a slight snowball fight, mainly between Roman, Dante and myself after they tried to add some unmentionable anatomy to the snowmen...silly boys.
Sometimes the Winter weather we are blessed with in Canada isn't all that bad, if you get out and make the best of it.
February 9, 2011
Time
“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.”
-Harvey MacKay
The past month I feel as though I have been constantly running and getting very little accomplished. Since scheduling some sort of exercise in to our already-packed evenings, I feel so short on time. Time to organize, relax, clean and most of all, time with my boys. From the time I get up in the morning to the time I go to bed at night it seems as though everything is rushed. Seeing as it's beginning to seem a bit overwhelming I have a plan!
I am going to start waking up earlier and getting a run in every morning Monday to Friday.
I figure this will help me wake up and get energized for the day. I will have my cardio in for the day and I won't have to stress out too much if playing cars with Cole in the evening is the most that I get around too, or if Ryan and I decide to sit down and watch some tv together after everything is done. I'm hoping that this isn't too huge of an adjustment and that I can make it work - heck - I am going to make it work.
Another thing that I am planning to work on is to schedule regular posts. After reading some of the fantastic blogging tips over at Taylor's Top 2 Tuesday I have decided that this is the way to go. I really do love blogging and I find it helps me vent from time to time, as well, I absolutely love having this record of our lives.
I am looking for any suggestions on workouts for my 'love handles', any suggestions?
Do you wake up early in the morning to get your work out in?
February 8, 2011
Eat It. Work It. Blog It. - Take 2
It's time for week 2 of Eat It. Work It. Blog It. over at Amber's.
Thankfully the last week hasn't been too terrible, however, I am still not showing much progress on the scales. But, I am seeing a slight difference in my pants and I'll take inches over pounds any day.
Eat It...
For the most part I have been staying within my daily points allowance on Weight Watchers, however, Saturday night I over indulged on the yummy recipes that I made from Gina's (here and here). I also baked some cookies and got into those (maybe my week wasn't as great as I thought). I have been working towards trying new recipes that are healthier and involve clean eating. I found a delicious recipe over at Molly's and we tried it out last night and it was a hit - even Cole liked it. While he didn't eat the kale, he devoured the chicken. Clean eating isn't terribly tough for me to follow Monday to Friday while in routine, it's the weekends when I lose control and eat almost anything in sight.
Work It...
Last week my work outs were great. Monday and Tuesday I went to kettlebells, then Wednesday and Thursday I ran 3 miles each day. I have increased my running by a minute and reduced my walking by 30 seconds and I can already see a difference in my endurance. Kettlebells is never a dull workout and I am almost always feeling it the following day. Unfortunately the weekend didn't go quite as planned and I skipped my workouts BOTH days (with every word I type I realize how terrible my week ended up being!). I started up again last night with a 2.5 mile run, upping my running time again...loving running so far.
Blog It...
This week is already shaping up to be better than the last.
This morning I was down 1 pound which is motivation enough to keep it up as I plan to weigh in next week and would like to be down a couple of pounds at least. Tonight I will be heading to kettlebells and then the rest of the week I will continue with jogging and might even bust out my 30 Day Shred Video. Jillian knows how to work abs and mine could definitely use some of her help! Next week I am hoping to blog about how wonderful this week was with food and exercise and hopefully I will have some positive results on the scale/clothes front.
If you are working at losing weight, making better eating choices, leading a healthier lifestyle or anything of the sorts head on over to Amber's to link up.
Thankfully the last week hasn't been too terrible, however, I am still not showing much progress on the scales. But, I am seeing a slight difference in my pants and I'll take inches over pounds any day.
Eat It...
For the most part I have been staying within my daily points allowance on Weight Watchers, however, Saturday night I over indulged on the yummy recipes that I made from Gina's (here and here). I also baked some cookies and got into those (maybe my week wasn't as great as I thought). I have been working towards trying new recipes that are healthier and involve clean eating. I found a delicious recipe over at Molly's and we tried it out last night and it was a hit - even Cole liked it. While he didn't eat the kale, he devoured the chicken. Clean eating isn't terribly tough for me to follow Monday to Friday while in routine, it's the weekends when I lose control and eat almost anything in sight.
Work It...
Last week my work outs were great. Monday and Tuesday I went to kettlebells, then Wednesday and Thursday I ran 3 miles each day. I have increased my running by a minute and reduced my walking by 30 seconds and I can already see a difference in my endurance. Kettlebells is never a dull workout and I am almost always feeling it the following day. Unfortunately the weekend didn't go quite as planned and I skipped my workouts BOTH days (with every word I type I realize how terrible my week ended up being!). I started up again last night with a 2.5 mile run, upping my running time again...loving running so far.
Blog It...
This week is already shaping up to be better than the last.
This morning I was down 1 pound which is motivation enough to keep it up as I plan to weigh in next week and would like to be down a couple of pounds at least. Tonight I will be heading to kettlebells and then the rest of the week I will continue with jogging and might even bust out my 30 Day Shred Video. Jillian knows how to work abs and mine could definitely use some of her help! Next week I am hoping to blog about how wonderful this week was with food and exercise and hopefully I will have some positive results on the scale/clothes front.
If you are working at losing weight, making better eating choices, leading a healthier lifestyle or anything of the sorts head on over to Amber's to link up.
February 7, 2011
T2T - Blogging
It's almost Tuesday and that means that it's Top 2 Tuesday over at Taylor's. This week's theme is the Top 2 Things You Have Learned About Blogging.
1) Enjoy it. Blogging has become my outlet, my journal and it is something I am really enjoying. I don't always blog every day, I don't have one main focus that I write about, BUT I enjoy it. It isn't about the people who read it (sorry everyone ;) ), it isn't about the number of comments or followers. It's about my everyday life and being able to have a record of what happens in our lives to share with our family and friends. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to all of you that do share in our journey and you make me enjoy blogging even more!
2) The people are amazing. I never expected to 'meet' new people through blogging but as luck would have it - I have. There are so many people who do blog and I have been fortunate enough to 'meet' some of these wonderful people. The support that is out there is unbelievable, it's enough to make one believe that positive thoughts and prayers will fix almost any bad situation.
Take a look at my blog roll on the right (blogs I love) and go check out some of the amazing ladies I have been lucky enough to meet.
Link up with Taylor and share what you've learned about blogging.
February 6, 2011
Weekend
It's Sunday already...where do the weekends go?
We have had a fairly quiet weekend so far and it has been great. Friday night we went to Ryan's parents' for a delicious supper and a visit and then I went to a friend's for a visit with the girls. Saturday was spent lounging around the house, working on our budget and doing groceries. We made a delicious supper (thanks Gina, amazing as always) and then had some friends over for a visit. We played Things and had some Skinny Baked Jalapeno Poppers (again, yum Gina!), a great night!
Things is a game where you need 4 or more players and everyone has a small slip of paper to write on. The reader picks a card and reads it out loud, for example...Things that make you feel stupid.
Everyone writes something down and hands it to the reader where he/she reads them all to the group and then the guessing starts. You have to guess who said what and if you get them all right you get a point. If you guess wrong then the next person guesses and the last person to guess right gets the point. Winning or losing really doesn't matter with this game because you will laugh and then laugh some more. The answers range on the people playing, the alcohol consumed, trying to trick everyone to think that your answer belonged to someone else, etc. and for fair warning - things can get a little inappropriate sometimes. If you haven't played Things, you most definitely need to try it out.
Today we are heading to my sister's house to skate on their outdoor rink with the boys. Cole will be skating for the first time and he is beyond excited. He was so proud when Melissa sent an out-grown pair of skates with my Mom for Cole to use, he put them on and stood in the kitchen showing them off. We were planning on enrolling Cole in downhill skiing lessons starting this weekend, but after getting his new skates he had zero interest in skiing, he only wants to skate. Today is the day! Can't wait to visit and spend time with my sister, her husband and their two boys.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend and HAPPY SUPERBOWL SUNDAY to all you football fans!
The thoughts expressed in this post are solely my own opinion. I was not at all compensated in any way by the creators of Things.
We have had a fairly quiet weekend so far and it has been great. Friday night we went to Ryan's parents' for a delicious supper and a visit and then I went to a friend's for a visit with the girls. Saturday was spent lounging around the house, working on our budget and doing groceries. We made a delicious supper (thanks Gina, amazing as always) and then had some friends over for a visit. We played Things and had some Skinny Baked Jalapeno Poppers (again, yum Gina!), a great night!
Things is a game where you need 4 or more players and everyone has a small slip of paper to write on. The reader picks a card and reads it out loud, for example...Things that make you feel stupid.
Everyone writes something down and hands it to the reader where he/she reads them all to the group and then the guessing starts. You have to guess who said what and if you get them all right you get a point. If you guess wrong then the next person guesses and the last person to guess right gets the point. Winning or losing really doesn't matter with this game because you will laugh and then laugh some more. The answers range on the people playing, the alcohol consumed, trying to trick everyone to think that your answer belonged to someone else, etc. and for fair warning - things can get a little inappropriate sometimes. If you haven't played Things, you most definitely need to try it out.
Today we are heading to my sister's house to skate on their outdoor rink with the boys. Cole will be skating for the first time and he is beyond excited. He was so proud when Melissa sent an out-grown pair of skates with my Mom for Cole to use, he put them on and stood in the kitchen showing them off. We were planning on enrolling Cole in downhill skiing lessons starting this weekend, but after getting his new skates he had zero interest in skiing, he only wants to skate. Today is the day! Can't wait to visit and spend time with my sister, her husband and their two boys.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend and HAPPY SUPERBOWL SUNDAY to all you football fans!
The thoughts expressed in this post are solely my own opinion. I was not at all compensated in any way by the creators of Things.
February 3, 2011
Ummm...
I just turned the channel to MTV and watched a whole 2 minutes of Jersey Shore...ummmm, what is the deal with this nonsense? And what is wrong with that guys hair?
February 1, 2011
Eat It. Work It. Blog It.
Amber over at The Survival Guide For the Young, Fabulous & Newlywed has started a new Tuesday link up called Eat It. Work It. Blog It. and since I am back into health mode and trying to make a firm lifestyle change I thought it would be beneficial to participate, as well as give her and others some support on their journey.
Amber started Eat It. Work It. Blog It. because 'I know that many bloggers are on a journey of their own to accomplish weight loss or fitness goals. Some may want to lose 20 pounds or more. Others may simply want to clean up their eating habits and incorporate exercise into their daily lifestyle. Whatever the goal, I think it would be SO much easier to accomplish that goal with the help and support of other bloggers. To share your "Do's & Dont's". To share your favorite recipes or favorite healthy snack ideas. To share your triumphs and failures. To hold one another accountable and celebrate each other's success.'
Today is the first edition so head on over and join the fun.
Eat It:
Breakfast and Lunch tend to be pretty similar day to day.
Breakfast is either 2 egg whites with 1 slice of Weight Watcher's toast and fruit or 2 egg whites with a yogurt with 1 tbsp granola and fruit.
Lunch is most often a large salad with a chicken breast, hot peppers and low-fat salad dressing or 1/3 cup hummus with cut up veggies.
Snacks tend to be fruit or yogurt or a Weight Watcher's bar when something really yummy is needed.
Dinner is always something healthy, we don't eat a whole lot of processed or packaged foods and I've begun measuring my portions out to ensure that I don't over eat.
All of that doesn't sound too bad at all, but when it comes to the 9 p.m. post work-out snack, all I want is chocolate, popcorn or chips. Any suggestions to curb this?
Work It:
I started Kettlebells 3 weeks ago and am absolutely loving it and will be continuing to attend classes 2 nights a week. The 3 other nights a week I have started my 'running' and am really loving the cardio and how simple it has been to get into it. I'm hoping to add in the 30 Day Shred again here and there just to mix things up. Yesterday and today were kettlebells and the next two evenings are running so hopefully the progress on learning to run will continue.
Blog It:
I would like to see a loss of 5 pounds in the month of February, but even more, I would love to see a difference in my clothing. My biggest focus is my love handles (hate them!) and if they would shrink slightly I would be so happy. I will also continue to link up with Amber and support others who are working towards their own goals.
Here's hoping that I can continue to stick with my workouts and healthy eating, I'm hoping that some of you will remind me when/if I skip any updates.
Are you working towards any goals/changes?
Amber started Eat It. Work It. Blog It. because 'I know that many bloggers are on a journey of their own to accomplish weight loss or fitness goals. Some may want to lose 20 pounds or more. Others may simply want to clean up their eating habits and incorporate exercise into their daily lifestyle. Whatever the goal, I think it would be SO much easier to accomplish that goal with the help and support of other bloggers. To share your "Do's & Dont's". To share your favorite recipes or favorite healthy snack ideas. To share your triumphs and failures. To hold one another accountable and celebrate each other's success.'
Today is the first edition so head on over and join the fun.
Eat It:
Breakfast and Lunch tend to be pretty similar day to day.
Breakfast is either 2 egg whites with 1 slice of Weight Watcher's toast and fruit or 2 egg whites with a yogurt with 1 tbsp granola and fruit.
Lunch is most often a large salad with a chicken breast, hot peppers and low-fat salad dressing or 1/3 cup hummus with cut up veggies.
Snacks tend to be fruit or yogurt or a Weight Watcher's bar when something really yummy is needed.
Dinner is always something healthy, we don't eat a whole lot of processed or packaged foods and I've begun measuring my portions out to ensure that I don't over eat.
All of that doesn't sound too bad at all, but when it comes to the 9 p.m. post work-out snack, all I want is chocolate, popcorn or chips. Any suggestions to curb this?
Work It:
I started Kettlebells 3 weeks ago and am absolutely loving it and will be continuing to attend classes 2 nights a week. The 3 other nights a week I have started my 'running' and am really loving the cardio and how simple it has been to get into it. I'm hoping to add in the 30 Day Shred again here and there just to mix things up. Yesterday and today were kettlebells and the next two evenings are running so hopefully the progress on learning to run will continue.
Blog It:
I would like to see a loss of 5 pounds in the month of February, but even more, I would love to see a difference in my clothing. My biggest focus is my love handles (hate them!) and if they would shrink slightly I would be so happy. I will also continue to link up with Amber and support others who are working towards their own goals.
Here's hoping that I can continue to stick with my workouts and healthy eating, I'm hoping that some of you will remind me when/if I skip any updates.
Are you working towards any goals/changes?
January 28, 2011
Friday Fun
I loveeeeeee random days off, especially Fridays! I took today off to spend it with my boys and get some things done around the house. The boys ran out for a bit this morning and I have to say, it is so nice to sit here with my tea, catch up on blogs and sit in the quietness of the house. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Ryan and Cole and wouldn't trade them for the world, but I like quiet too. It's a nice change from the fast paced everyday craziness and I'll take it anytime.
I'm back in the saddle, the health saddle that is. I have started back to Weight Watchers and exercising daily and I must say that it feels good. The scales haven't moved down at all unfortunately but after eating well, drinking lots of water and working out I can feel the difference it makes at the end of the day. I love the energy it gives me. I have started kettlebells 1-2 nights a week and am loving the work out. I can feel it in my core and the sense of accomplishment after I have finished a class is great. Thankfully I have a friend who is going as well so it helps to get me out of the house on those evenings when it would be just as easy to sit on the couch. The nights that I haven't been to class I have been doing a 3 mile walk/jog, trying to get into running. 'Become a runner' is one of the things on my 101 in 1001 list (which I still haven't posted, will get to that soon to help keep myself accountable) and I am trying to follow the schedule from a running clinic that one of my friends attended. It starts with jogging 1 minute, walking 2 minutes for the first week and thankfully it's been pretty good so far. Of course if you have any suggestions on how to help me concur running I would love to hear them.
I'm off to get my work out on...HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
I'm back in the saddle, the health saddle that is. I have started back to Weight Watchers and exercising daily and I must say that it feels good. The scales haven't moved down at all unfortunately but after eating well, drinking lots of water and working out I can feel the difference it makes at the end of the day. I love the energy it gives me. I have started kettlebells 1-2 nights a week and am loving the work out. I can feel it in my core and the sense of accomplishment after I have finished a class is great. Thankfully I have a friend who is going as well so it helps to get me out of the house on those evenings when it would be just as easy to sit on the couch. The nights that I haven't been to class I have been doing a 3 mile walk/jog, trying to get into running. 'Become a runner' is one of the things on my 101 in 1001 list (which I still haven't posted, will get to that soon to help keep myself accountable) and I am trying to follow the schedule from a running clinic that one of my friends attended. It starts with jogging 1 minute, walking 2 minutes for the first week and thankfully it's been pretty good so far. Of course if you have any suggestions on how to help me concur running I would love to hear them.
I'm off to get my work out on...HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
January 27, 2011
Hi again!
I'm back and have so many things to say and show you! First off, thank you soooooo much to all of you for your kind words, thoughts and encouragement over the last month. I have received so many comments, e-mails and Facebook messages from so many of you and it really has been some light during the darker days.
2011 has been a busy one so far, Cole is potty trained (with the exception of bed time) which we are all loving, Cole and I both have pink eye (thankfully it's nothing major, just some drops and no contacts for me...boo...) and we have been up visiting at my parents for the past two weekends. The day that we received the terrible news about Lauryn, we also found out that my Dad has cancer where his esophagus and stomach meet and he has since undergone numerous tests and a round of chemotherapy. Thankfully the pet scan has provided us all the reassurance that the cancer has not spread and the plan of attack is 3 rounds of chemo, surgery to remove the cancer and then 3 more rounds of chemo to ensure that it is gone. Throughout all of this my Dad is doing so well and staying as strong as ever. He is so blessed to be feeling well so far, hopefully it continues. There is no doubt in my mind that he will do well and beat cancer, he is by far the most stubborn person I know and he has such a great support system rooting him on every step of the way. Again, it's amazing what love will do...
So far 2011 is shaping up to be a terrific year and I look forward to sharing it with all of you. I'll be around a little more often now that things are getting back on track, don't be shy to stop by and say hi! I'll leave you with this...
We are dealing with the loss of Lauryn as well as we can. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her and how far along I would be. I still look into the spare room and dream of her nursery that we would have been in the midst of setting up to prepare for her arrival that would have been in a short 14 weeks. While it's been a tough journey, we do have one special little boy who is here with us and who fills our lives with so much love and joy and helps to ease the pain.
Cole turned 3 on December 28th and what a day we had! We spent the day at the museum looking at all of the animals (which he absolutely loved!) and then we went to the fishy store where Cole picked out a plecko for his new fish tank. Here are a couple of pictures of Cole enjoying his special day...
He had just woke up
At the museum
At his family birthday party
2011 has been a busy one so far, Cole is potty trained (with the exception of bed time) which we are all loving, Cole and I both have pink eye (thankfully it's nothing major, just some drops and no contacts for me...boo...) and we have been up visiting at my parents for the past two weekends. The day that we received the terrible news about Lauryn, we also found out that my Dad has cancer where his esophagus and stomach meet and he has since undergone numerous tests and a round of chemotherapy. Thankfully the pet scan has provided us all the reassurance that the cancer has not spread and the plan of attack is 3 rounds of chemo, surgery to remove the cancer and then 3 more rounds of chemo to ensure that it is gone. Throughout all of this my Dad is doing so well and staying as strong as ever. He is so blessed to be feeling well so far, hopefully it continues. There is no doubt in my mind that he will do well and beat cancer, he is by far the most stubborn person I know and he has such a great support system rooting him on every step of the way. Again, it's amazing what love will do...
So far 2011 is shaping up to be a terrific year and I look forward to sharing it with all of you. I'll be around a little more often now that things are getting back on track, don't be shy to stop by and say hi! I'll leave you with this...
Love this boy more than life itself.
January 7, 2011
I ended my last post kind of quickly. When laying it all out for everyone and rereading the words, it was hard. It being the realization of everything that had happened in the past 3 weeks, from the pain of losing our baby, to the pain of seeing the hurt in our families and friends eyes. We've been to hell and back in a hand basket, as our story does not end here. However, that is for another post.
I want to say thank you soooooo much to everyone who has commented on our story, e-mailed me or sent me a facebook message. I can't even begin to tell you just how much your support and love means to us. Your kind words have been just what I needed to help remind me that we made the best decision we could. So again, I thank you and hope you know that you are a huge part in my healing process. Blogging has proven to be the most amazing outlet through the good and bad.
Along with all of you, both Ryan and I come from loving, generous, supportive and devoted families. We haven't been alone for one step of the way. Our parents, brothers and sisters are the reason that we are still standing after all that we have endured. Our extended family have all reached out to us as well and proven that family is the glue that holds us all together. Friends, my goodness, if I had a dollar for all of the people who were there just waiting for us to talk if we needed to I would be rich. All of that being said, we are doing well. It has been three weeks today since we lost Lauryn but given the circumstances we knew the decision was best and we have accepted all that has happened and are mourning the loss, but at the same time we are still living. Ryan and I make sure that we talk about how we are feeling often, we've made a promise to each other that if either of us begins to feel that things are too much that we will tell each other and seek help if need be. Thankfully we have had a busy three weeks with Cole's birthday (3 years old on December 28th!!!), Christmas, New Years, back to work and potty training (yes you read that right and it's going so AMAZING!) and that has all kept us moving and living life.
Ryan and I are on the same page and this has made us stronger as a couple. We made all decisions together after much discussion, we have helped one another up when either of us faltered, we held each other during the toughest, darkest moments. We have been together through out everything and I never knew just how close we could become. The term husband can mean so many things and it is forever-changing, growing. This man who is my partner in life, my best friend, the father of my children, a rock to hold me up when I'm not strong, among so many other things, makes the term husband seems so ordinary for such an extraordinary person. For those of you who know Ryan know that he is a kind, gentle man. A good person, a great husband and an amazing father. He's by no means perfect, but he is my husband and he's perfect for me.
Again, thank you all so much for your support and for letting us share our story, your kind words have helped ease the pain more than you know.
As mentioned above, there is more to our story over the past three weeks. Please keep our family in your thoughts as we are all dealing with something other than losing Lauryn and all the prayers and thoughts are appreciated and much needed.
I want to say thank you soooooo much to everyone who has commented on our story, e-mailed me or sent me a facebook message. I can't even begin to tell you just how much your support and love means to us. Your kind words have been just what I needed to help remind me that we made the best decision we could. So again, I thank you and hope you know that you are a huge part in my healing process. Blogging has proven to be the most amazing outlet through the good and bad.
Along with all of you, both Ryan and I come from loving, generous, supportive and devoted families. We haven't been alone for one step of the way. Our parents, brothers and sisters are the reason that we are still standing after all that we have endured. Our extended family have all reached out to us as well and proven that family is the glue that holds us all together. Friends, my goodness, if I had a dollar for all of the people who were there just waiting for us to talk if we needed to I would be rich. All of that being said, we are doing well. It has been three weeks today since we lost Lauryn but given the circumstances we knew the decision was best and we have accepted all that has happened and are mourning the loss, but at the same time we are still living. Ryan and I make sure that we talk about how we are feeling often, we've made a promise to each other that if either of us begins to feel that things are too much that we will tell each other and seek help if need be. Thankfully we have had a busy three weeks with Cole's birthday (3 years old on December 28th!!!), Christmas, New Years, back to work and potty training (yes you read that right and it's going so AMAZING!) and that has all kept us moving and living life.
Ryan and I are on the same page and this has made us stronger as a couple. We made all decisions together after much discussion, we have helped one another up when either of us faltered, we held each other during the toughest, darkest moments. We have been together through out everything and I never knew just how close we could become. The term husband can mean so many things and it is forever-changing, growing. This man who is my partner in life, my best friend, the father of my children, a rock to hold me up when I'm not strong, among so many other things, makes the term husband seems so ordinary for such an extraordinary person. For those of you who know Ryan know that he is a kind, gentle man. A good person, a great husband and an amazing father. He's by no means perfect, but he is my husband and he's perfect for me.
Again, thank you all so much for your support and for letting us share our story, your kind words have helped ease the pain more than you know.
As mentioned above, there is more to our story over the past three weeks. Please keep our family in your thoughts as we are all dealing with something other than losing Lauryn and all the prayers and thoughts are appreciated and much needed.
January 4, 2011
Lauryn Jae - December 18, 2010
This post was from December 16th, 2010, since that time so much has happened and it can be found under the original post.
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We found out on Friday, December 10th at 19 weeks pregnant that we were expecting a baby girl. We already knew that if a girl she would be named Lauryn Jae, Lauryn after our mothers - my mom Laurel and Ryan's mom Robyn and Jae is my oldest sister's middle name (Lauryn's God-Mother-To-Be). As we walked out of our ultrasound on cloud 9 at the thought of having a baby girl, a little sister for Cole to watch out for growing up, to teach her all of the amazing things that this world has to offer, we never thought that two hours later our world would come crashing down on us.
The ultrasound technician was different. That's the only way that we could both describe her. She asked a lot of questions, but nothing out of the ordinary. Did we have the IPS testing at 10-12 weeks? No. Was this our first child? No, our second. Had we had any previous ultrasounds for this pregnancy? Yes, 1 to confirm a heartbeat at 17 weeks. Did we want to know the gender? Yes, if possible. All normal questions right? After she took all the measurements she turned to us and said, 'And let's just leave it at that.' Hmmm, weird but okay. I asked if we could find the gender and she hesitated and then looked and confirmed that it was a girl. We were so excited about the news that we let her hesitation slide.
Back at work that afternoon, I mistakenly updated my Facebook status letting everyone know we were expecting a girl. This has prompted 60 some odd comments and 'likes' all congratulating us on such wonderful and exciting news. Within an hour of doing so, my cell phone was ringing and it was my doctor's office. I ran out of the office to talk to her and knew right away that something was wrong. She asked if I was with Ryan and when I said no she suggested that I go to him and call her back. I couldn't wait that long and needed to know right then and there what was going on. She began by telling me that the baby was showing signs of sever deformities. After she said that I didn't hear much. I ran back into work, told my boss and left to meet Ryan at his parents'. She called back shortly and I was able to ask her to tell me everything again and as she did I repeated it to Ryan. She told us to take the weekend together and that we would have a level 2 scan early the next week and confirm what was going on and go from there. Thankfully we have Cole, our adorable almost 3 year old who can make you smile no matter how terrible your mood, to help us through the weekend. By Tuesday we were booked into the hospital with a specialist and had our scan. After a 2 hour scan by the technician and himself he took us into a consultation room and asked us what we had been told previously. We told him that our doctor suspected that the baby had several deformities, that some of her bones were smaller than others and that others were curved. As well that the neck was showing a thickness, leading them to believe that there was a possibility of Down Syndrome. He said that most of it was accurate but to further elaborate, the baby is lying in a head right back (nose to the air) position, not because she is comfortable, but because she is 'stuck' in that position due to the formation of her spine. Furthermore, her spine is not curving under at the base as most do, rather it's curving out. Her arms are very tiny, measuring at 13 weeks versus our 19.5 weeks and her feet are clubbed. All of her bones aren't as healthy as they hoped, some are curved, not as solid as they should be. They were unable to locate her kidneys during the scan and believe that if they are there they aren't going to be functioning at the required level. Her chest is very narrow and isn't showing good signs of development, therefore, her heart is small and difficult to see. They were unable to confirm if the valves were all there and functioning up to par. With the current development of her chest they were led to believe that her lungs will never function as they need to for her to make it in this world, let alone much further in the pregnancy. At this time we were provided with 3 options:
1- Testing before making any decisions: loads of testing on the baby, including amniocentesis to determine what skeletal disorder the baby has and to determine what type of mental syndrome.
2- Managing the pregnancy: monitoring the growth of the baby until the pregnancy terminated on it's own
3- Terminating the pregnancy
We listened to all the options and let the doctor outline them all and then Ryan asked him 'In your honest opinion, what should we do?'. The doctor informed us that our best option was #3, to terminate the pregnancy. We asked him several questions, thanked him and headed home to wait to hear from our doctor. The next morning our doctor's office called us to see how everything went and when I asked to meet with our doctor that morning to discuss the results I was told that she was on holidays. At this point, all I could do was cry. I called Ryan and cried and cried and cried and told him I was tired of waiting. He knew exactly how I was feeling as that's all we both had been doing was waiting. Waiting from Friday to Tuesday for the scan with a million thoughts running through out heads, waiting for Wednesday morning to finally meet with our doctor only to hear that she was on holidays for the rest of the week. Waiting on everyone while the world kept turning for everyone else. The doctor's office called me right back and explained that they had called our doctor at home and that she would come in to meet us at 11:30 that morning. 11:30 finally rolled around and we were taken to one of her offices to wait some more while she reviewed the report. She came in with tears as big as ours and hugs and apologies like so many we have been hearing lately. She went through the report with us, presented us with our options and confirmed what the other doctor had told us, termination was our best option. She also informed us that the baby's brain activity was extremely low, basically non-existent and that there was not a baby there, only a body. How my body has continued to tolerate this pregnancy is beyond her, there is no way that I should be carrying this child still at 20 weeks.
Ryan and I had been discussing what we would do and we were able to agree that there wasn't any sense in carrying Lauryn any longer. We wouldn't want to have to go through this at 30 or 35 weeks or carrying her full term to have her born into a life she wouldn't survive. If by some miracle she did survive, she would be forced into a lifetime of surgeries and pain and would have no quality of life according to the doctors. We have thought of what is best for Lauryn, for Ryan and I as a couple, for Cole, for me physically and for us as a family. This has been the toughest decision that we have ever had to make and I thank God that we were able to find this information out early and that we have the options we do. The next couple of days are going to be tough, tomorrow we meet with the doctor who will complete the termination and Saturday is the procedure. I am scared beyond belief and don't know what is to come, but I do know that all of the waiting will soon be over and that our little Lauryn will be able to rest.
I was so scared to post this and to let people know of our decision, not out of fear that we are making a mistake, but out of fear of being judged. But if there is anything we haven't learned over the past week, it's that you never know what you will do in any situation until you are in it and that no one has the right to judge what they don't experience. I hope that you will all hold our family close over the holidays as we do our best to make it through. No doubt that Cole will brighten our spirits and continue to fill our lives with joy as we celebrate Christmas and his 3rd birthday, but all the love and support are a huge help as well.
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As previously mentioned, since this post we have been through a tremendous amount. We met with a specialist who informed us that along with all of the issues listed above there is also a deformity in Lauryn's nose and stomach. He then proceeded to inform us what would happen during the next 48 hours from the time of our appointment. I'm not sure that it's something that everyone would like to hear and to be truthful, I'm not sure I'm ready to share it.
We lost our baby girl, she wasn't born yet, but from the moment we found out that our baby was a girl she had become a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin and so much more. She brought joy to our lives from the moment we found out that we were expecting her, we had such great plans for her and for our family as a whole. We were about to have the 'million dollar family' as so many people put it, but right now our family is broken hearted and in a lot of pain. Don't get me wrong, we still have the 'million dollar family' in my eyes, we have each other and a beautiful, amazing 3 year old who warms my heart each and every day with the simplest gestures or looks. As much as I have hated hearing it over the past 3 weeks, everything happens for a reason and someone else needed our little angel much more than we did. She'll never be forgotten and the pain of losing her will never go away no matter how much we pretend or go about our daily lives, but thankfully we have grown so much as a family and Ryan and I have become closer than I ever thought we could.
Lauryn, know that you are loved so much and that you will never be forgotten. x
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We found out on Friday, December 10th at 19 weeks pregnant that we were expecting a baby girl. We already knew that if a girl she would be named Lauryn Jae, Lauryn after our mothers - my mom Laurel and Ryan's mom Robyn and Jae is my oldest sister's middle name (Lauryn's God-Mother-To-Be). As we walked out of our ultrasound on cloud 9 at the thought of having a baby girl, a little sister for Cole to watch out for growing up, to teach her all of the amazing things that this world has to offer, we never thought that two hours later our world would come crashing down on us.
The ultrasound technician was different. That's the only way that we could both describe her. She asked a lot of questions, but nothing out of the ordinary. Did we have the IPS testing at 10-12 weeks? No. Was this our first child? No, our second. Had we had any previous ultrasounds for this pregnancy? Yes, 1 to confirm a heartbeat at 17 weeks. Did we want to know the gender? Yes, if possible. All normal questions right? After she took all the measurements she turned to us and said, 'And let's just leave it at that.' Hmmm, weird but okay. I asked if we could find the gender and she hesitated and then looked and confirmed that it was a girl. We were so excited about the news that we let her hesitation slide.
Back at work that afternoon, I mistakenly updated my Facebook status letting everyone know we were expecting a girl. This has prompted 60 some odd comments and 'likes' all congratulating us on such wonderful and exciting news. Within an hour of doing so, my cell phone was ringing and it was my doctor's office. I ran out of the office to talk to her and knew right away that something was wrong. She asked if I was with Ryan and when I said no she suggested that I go to him and call her back. I couldn't wait that long and needed to know right then and there what was going on. She began by telling me that the baby was showing signs of sever deformities. After she said that I didn't hear much. I ran back into work, told my boss and left to meet Ryan at his parents'. She called back shortly and I was able to ask her to tell me everything again and as she did I repeated it to Ryan. She told us to take the weekend together and that we would have a level 2 scan early the next week and confirm what was going on and go from there. Thankfully we have Cole, our adorable almost 3 year old who can make you smile no matter how terrible your mood, to help us through the weekend. By Tuesday we were booked into the hospital with a specialist and had our scan. After a 2 hour scan by the technician and himself he took us into a consultation room and asked us what we had been told previously. We told him that our doctor suspected that the baby had several deformities, that some of her bones were smaller than others and that others were curved. As well that the neck was showing a thickness, leading them to believe that there was a possibility of Down Syndrome. He said that most of it was accurate but to further elaborate, the baby is lying in a head right back (nose to the air) position, not because she is comfortable, but because she is 'stuck' in that position due to the formation of her spine. Furthermore, her spine is not curving under at the base as most do, rather it's curving out. Her arms are very tiny, measuring at 13 weeks versus our 19.5 weeks and her feet are clubbed. All of her bones aren't as healthy as they hoped, some are curved, not as solid as they should be. They were unable to locate her kidneys during the scan and believe that if they are there they aren't going to be functioning at the required level. Her chest is very narrow and isn't showing good signs of development, therefore, her heart is small and difficult to see. They were unable to confirm if the valves were all there and functioning up to par. With the current development of her chest they were led to believe that her lungs will never function as they need to for her to make it in this world, let alone much further in the pregnancy. At this time we were provided with 3 options:
1- Testing before making any decisions: loads of testing on the baby, including amniocentesis to determine what skeletal disorder the baby has and to determine what type of mental syndrome.
2- Managing the pregnancy: monitoring the growth of the baby until the pregnancy terminated on it's own
3- Terminating the pregnancy
We listened to all the options and let the doctor outline them all and then Ryan asked him 'In your honest opinion, what should we do?'. The doctor informed us that our best option was #3, to terminate the pregnancy. We asked him several questions, thanked him and headed home to wait to hear from our doctor. The next morning our doctor's office called us to see how everything went and when I asked to meet with our doctor that morning to discuss the results I was told that she was on holidays. At this point, all I could do was cry. I called Ryan and cried and cried and cried and told him I was tired of waiting. He knew exactly how I was feeling as that's all we both had been doing was waiting. Waiting from Friday to Tuesday for the scan with a million thoughts running through out heads, waiting for Wednesday morning to finally meet with our doctor only to hear that she was on holidays for the rest of the week. Waiting on everyone while the world kept turning for everyone else. The doctor's office called me right back and explained that they had called our doctor at home and that she would come in to meet us at 11:30 that morning. 11:30 finally rolled around and we were taken to one of her offices to wait some more while she reviewed the report. She came in with tears as big as ours and hugs and apologies like so many we have been hearing lately. She went through the report with us, presented us with our options and confirmed what the other doctor had told us, termination was our best option. She also informed us that the baby's brain activity was extremely low, basically non-existent and that there was not a baby there, only a body. How my body has continued to tolerate this pregnancy is beyond her, there is no way that I should be carrying this child still at 20 weeks.
Ryan and I had been discussing what we would do and we were able to agree that there wasn't any sense in carrying Lauryn any longer. We wouldn't want to have to go through this at 30 or 35 weeks or carrying her full term to have her born into a life she wouldn't survive. If by some miracle she did survive, she would be forced into a lifetime of surgeries and pain and would have no quality of life according to the doctors. We have thought of what is best for Lauryn, for Ryan and I as a couple, for Cole, for me physically and for us as a family. This has been the toughest decision that we have ever had to make and I thank God that we were able to find this information out early and that we have the options we do. The next couple of days are going to be tough, tomorrow we meet with the doctor who will complete the termination and Saturday is the procedure. I am scared beyond belief and don't know what is to come, but I do know that all of the waiting will soon be over and that our little Lauryn will be able to rest.
I was so scared to post this and to let people know of our decision, not out of fear that we are making a mistake, but out of fear of being judged. But if there is anything we haven't learned over the past week, it's that you never know what you will do in any situation until you are in it and that no one has the right to judge what they don't experience. I hope that you will all hold our family close over the holidays as we do our best to make it through. No doubt that Cole will brighten our spirits and continue to fill our lives with joy as we celebrate Christmas and his 3rd birthday, but all the love and support are a huge help as well.
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As previously mentioned, since this post we have been through a tremendous amount. We met with a specialist who informed us that along with all of the issues listed above there is also a deformity in Lauryn's nose and stomach. He then proceeded to inform us what would happen during the next 48 hours from the time of our appointment. I'm not sure that it's something that everyone would like to hear and to be truthful, I'm not sure I'm ready to share it.
We lost our baby girl, she wasn't born yet, but from the moment we found out that our baby was a girl she had become a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin and so much more. She brought joy to our lives from the moment we found out that we were expecting her, we had such great plans for her and for our family as a whole. We were about to have the 'million dollar family' as so many people put it, but right now our family is broken hearted and in a lot of pain. Don't get me wrong, we still have the 'million dollar family' in my eyes, we have each other and a beautiful, amazing 3 year old who warms my heart each and every day with the simplest gestures or looks. As much as I have hated hearing it over the past 3 weeks, everything happens for a reason and someone else needed our little angel much more than we did. She'll never be forgotten and the pain of losing her will never go away no matter how much we pretend or go about our daily lives, but thankfully we have grown so much as a family and Ryan and I have become closer than I ever thought we could.
Lauryn, know that you are loved so much and that you will never be forgotten. x
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